a lil confession.

If you ask, what makes me still want to be with you? I will always answer, I dunno. My heart wants to keep you by my side, no matter how hard my brain asks me to end it all.

If you ask, what makes me still want you beside me? I will always answer, I dunno. My heart wants to keep you by my side, no matter how hard my brain asks me to leave you.

My heart wants you, remain a part of my life, keep witnessing the good changes in my life, keep being friends grow up with me, no matter how hard my brain asks me not to continue.

How often I make trouble. How often do you get into troubles. How often do I get bored with this all. How often do you feel bored with this all too. How often have I given up on getting away from you. How often you are not sure to continue. This heart will still know which direction to take shelter. This heart will still know where to go to complain. This heart will still know which way to go home.

My house is you, dear. I need your shoulder to lean on. I need your tightest hug everytime I feel the world is not on my side, everytime I feel life feels too bad for me, everytime I feel I have no dreams in this world, everytime I feel it's time for me to give up, and everytime I feel that I really need you.

Sorry, If I'm being too selfish. Sorry, If I worry too much about being met with a sense of loss. Sorry, If I worry too much about the future. Sorry, If my worries becomes a trouble to you. Sorry, If my anxiety becomes a new burden in your life. Sorry If I haven't made you happy.

Do I have the right to be selfish? I just want everything goes well according to plan.
Do I have the right to be selfish? I just want the universe support me and you to arrive at the destination without a hitch.
Do I have the right to be selfish? I just wont make you regret have chosen me from many choices to become someone you should love.

Thx u, always being a water while I always being a fire.
Thx u, you were already water when you were supposed to be fire.
Thx u, always trying to complete.

And don’t forget
Thx me, have always believed fully in me, that he will change, that he will reach his goals, that I can make it through so far.
Thx me for fighting when I'm not sure about this, when I always feel ending it all is the most appropriate way.
Thx me for sticking until now, though there are many reasons to go. Even though there are many reasons to leave, although there are many reasons to end this simple story between you and me.
You are doing great, San!

The most important,
Thx u, still willing to be a home for me to stay, still willing to be a home for me to come home to, still willing to be a home for me to settle down.
Thx u, still willing to be a part of my life and give me a part in your life.

I am happy there you are in my life, although sometimes it feels like giving up. Believe me, I want to have you in my life. I hope, you feel the same.

In the last of this confession, I won't ask you to stay with me forever. Every night, I only ask God to keep bringing you, to stay with you tomorrow, tomorrow again, tomorrow again, and tomorrow again, until I've had no night to ask for it again.